Afraid I would never find a way out
Afraid I'd never be found
I don't wanna' go another round
An angry man's power will shut you up
Trip wires fill this house with tip toed love"
I do nothing and I did nothing either. Locked inside a chamber, the comfort zone, while the world doing the regular basis. Fear has consumed me. A wise man once told me that when you are afraid of jumping, then jump. That feeling is the signal to do anything I afraid of and doing nothing would make me stuck in the same place for an indefinite amount of time. I am afraid. Very afraid.
"Hate your appearance, did you struggle to find your place in this world?
And the pain spawns all the anger on"
As the consequence of stuck stage, apparently, a new question appears. Do I really have a place in this world? Or I am just nobody who was created to do nothing important at all? Who will never be recognized by the world? So, why did I have to be created anyway?
"And everything you're scared to say don't be afraid to say no more
From this day forward, just let them a-holes talk,
Take it with a grain of salt and eat their fuckin' faces off"
It is been too long for a depression state, which devoured all my strength and courage. I am fed up with this situation: sleep and eat all day long, lifeless, and monotone daily cycle. My time is up, I have to accept this defeat and learn to stand up.
So here I am and I will not run
Guts over fear (the time is near)
Guts over fear (I shed a tear)"
I have used every possible defense to rationalize my former action. Blame, excuse, and justification. I did everything to protect my pride and cover my fear. Such a vain attempt, I think. A useless phase of a journey, yet it gave me enough time to contemplate and rearrange future plan. Will I encounter the similar situation? I don't know. It's time to jump.
* (One path journey, a three-post-life story, is inspired by Eminem ft Sia "Guts Over Fear")
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