Angel and Human (1)

"Everyone has an angelic side in their own heart."

Based on a particular circumstance, I "trapped" in this kind of activity. An event that forced me to smile to every people that I met. A situation that constrained me from using any kind of gadget (and I love this rule, though). An event that enforced me to develop an intimate relationship with someone who was chosen by the committee. Well not that I hated it, but this is something that I didn't do every day.

For your information only, I am a quiet - no fun person which always takes things seriously. And if we moving on to the face validity, a big zero will emerge from the judges. And if you look for good points from education nor career, you would find nothing. Literally nothing. Well, in the end, I (still) had to do those tasks from the committee.

The assignment is not that hard actually. You only had to do something good to the target. You had to become an "angel" for that person, someone who would do everything to make a human happy. At the first time when I imagined those things, I found that it is really hard since I did not know anything related to my human.

However, funny things happened in the d-day. You know what? Every person that attended the event treated each other well. I was judged as "an angel" for the person that was not "my human". They asked me personally, "Are you the angel of mine?", which then I had to tell the truth, no. And not only myself, many of my friend being judged so. You have to believe that we acted unconsciously in those situations. We, subconsciously, have the capability to be an altruist to the environment.

My point is when you really want to do something good to someone and you believe that you could, you will succeed. Your body will emit positive aura which will be recognized by the surroundings. That aura will affect you and bring your positive character. We were born with virtuous heart but tainted gradually. Even if the nowadays people tend to be an individualist, the pure seraphic heart still remains in ourselves.

I Chose to Run

It's been more than one month since I stopped writing. Stuck. The brain stopped processing, I made it stop, to be honest. The intention to protect myself from anything which might harm the feeling of mine caused me to stop thinking since that failure. I float on the flow of time. After all, I am someone that rarely rejected or failed. It was a big shock. I transformed to a useless robot with an empty mind.

Fight or flight. Two options, two choices. I always try to pick the subsequent preference, whilst am fully conscious that running is not the best one. It is relieving, yet you have to avoid several people to protect your "secure" feeling, isn't it? The flight may set your mind at ease, however, you have to reconsider your action. It will never solve the issue, yet give you additional time. On the other words, the problem will never be settled since running will only postpone it for a while.

The Alteration

Coward. I don't know since when I behaved like one, but one thing that is certain, fail was never an option for me. Someone who never flunked in his life - it is considered as a great success, isn't it? Well, the answer is, NOPE! Because I, who regarded as the one that never fail, always feared the word "FAIL". As the consequence, I never tried something new or even initiated to make a move. I didn't want to lose my title, the one who never fail.

Being frightened of losing my special epithet, I will only step on the field that guarantees 100% success and no risk at all, which recently realized as the greatest failure of mine. People may say that my recent achievements are "good", but never "great" - and those accomplishments are "normal" which possibly done by most of people. My desire leads me to demand the "great" attainments which cannot be reached by "normal" people. In order to seek those goals, I have to be ready to face failure after failure, always initiate and pursue the chance to do something that I have never done before. To be the great man of the future. "The one who regrets the most is not the one who has failed countless time, but someone who never give his 100% effort."