As The Sun Goes Down,,,

Nothing's ever what we expect

But they keep asking we're going next

All we're chasing is the sunset

Got my mind on you... (R. Schulz - Sun Goes Down)

And, voila. The sacred fourth year. The time we, senior students, ought be graduate. But i have not...yet. Hopefully. My friends have graduated, join their new unique world, do many new things, or maybe travel into the new place. And here i am. Just doing nothing and trying to find funny videos on youtube.

 

Here we are in 2015. But back in 2011 when we just a high school graduated, when we just entered this sacred place and knew that we'll "trapped" for 4 year more or less, we had some expectation. Wheter it's about the subjet, organization, lecturer, relationship or maybe project that'll make us some money. I believe we all have the expectation at first.

Well now, are the expectations meet the reality? Its subjective. It could be pleasing or dissapointing. It could be better or worse. It could be fascinating or deppresing. Whether you realize it or not, after our expectation meet the reality we unconsciously make a new expectations. We are born to expect something, so it's just natural.

I have not graduated yet. My expectation doesn't meet the reality. It's fine for me because i know i spent my time to develop myself. But the others don't feel the same. They have expectations on me, they want me to keep moving, to achieving something new. They keep asking what'll i do after this. They asking and expecting continuously without provide any help. Well if i reconsider, they give "motivation" in their own way. Advice, suggestion, warning, anything. "But have you experienced and survived this when you're on my shoes?" i wanna go and ask them, let them think twice before cornered me in such a situation.

I personally know my own target and my ability. I have my own way to achieve something. Call this excuse but thats the truth. Its okay to motivate us, but please dont demand anything. Because sooner or later the expectation will meet the reality as the time passed by, as the sun goes down.

* I apologize for the language, i tried to learn it bit by bit

* Dedicated for "the watchers" that didn't know a thing but keep comment everything

Just Say Whatever You Wanted To Say

It might seem like a foolish in your eyes

but I would like to do what my heart wants

We can't control people's comment. Any thing that we do will trigger people's comment. Anything. Sometimes it's a good suggestion, sometimes it's unbearable. But when we heard the comment most of the time it is negative. It's okay, that's alright. Have you heard the story about father, son, and the donkey? People will comment on everything we do. 

We have very limited amount of energy, so we should mantain our activity. In the end, we have to choose which activity that we'll execute. Whether to defend ourselves from the badmouthing, or to improve our potential. Why bother spending the time to defend when we have the chance to ignore it? The amount of energy for defending ourselves is equal with the energy for improving our skills. So just walk away and ignore them.

I did that most of the time, except when the one comment is someone that close to me. Or that someone capable in that area, not just people watching. Or the one that comment is not someone but everyone. Then i'll stop myself, look inside and analyze what's wrong. It could be the way to improve myself better.

Everybody may say that what I did is useless, meaningless, or foolish or whatever they'll say. Its not a problem. I do what i want, and i'll get everything that i want. Period.

*I understand that this is a little bit hard to understand because of the language. Im improving myself, so feel free to correct and give a suggestion for me :)

Just Listen for the First Try

I want you to listen until the end

Even though it won't make us together...

Everyone has an idea or thought about anything that happened in this world, and i do too. A group of people may have different opinion even though they discuss the same thing. Even for the exactly same thing. Too many paradigm, too many perspectives, too many distracting factors. We talked about the personal thing, about the past, about the future. Too many differences, yet small similiarities.

Few similiarities among us? I couldn't care less. This thing worked well because of the difference of ours, right? It last for more than five hundred days. Why five hundred? Well maybe i'm inspired a bit from 500 days of summer, one of my favorite film. In the end, parting ways is unavoidable.

Is it unavoidable? Yes. But to be honest, no. It is avoidable. Either we don't want to avoid it or we put too much trust on our ego. Just to protect ourselves. Just to avoid more scar that come from the fact. After all, most of us prefer the beautiful lie than painful truth.

Last but not least, i tried to tell you something. I want you to listen until the end, even though it won't make us together for now. Actually you don't need to listen if you don't wanna. But i'll talk about it for sure, though the one is listening is not the others but myself. I'm fine, i'm perfectly fine. I'll just do anything secretly. It's all about the-best-i've-ever had, you, and me.

*Note : I just wanna write something in English to improve my skill, and fell free to make a suggestion for me.

**Note 2 : No, it's not about the feeling. I've got the inspiration from a song. Anyway Note 3 is a lie.

***Note 3 : It talked about someone's feeling, actually. Anyway Note 2 is a lie.